How to Deal with Toxic Friendships Without the Drama

Be Familiar with the Signs of a Toxic Friendship

Pay attention to the red flags, and don’t be afraid to point them out so that you can correct the issue. There are certain tell-tale signs:

- They always belittle or make you feel low.

- They are self-centered and barely notice you.

- They are jealous or cannot accept your success.

- They make you feel guilty for refusing to do something that you do not want to do.

- You feel drained, anxious, or tense after being with them.

If these things sound familiar, the friendship is leeching off of your energy and needs to be reconsidered.

Think About Your Own Needs and Boundaries

Take a moment and think about how you feel about the friendship. Ask yourself:

- Am I content and supported in this friendship?

- Am I sacrificing my own health to keep this friendship going?

- What are the limits I must place to feel respected?

Being honest with yourself is the beginning of solving the problem. Remember, as difficult as it feels in the moment, you need to prioritize your feelings and mental health, and that is more than okay. 

Talk Honestly

If you are comfortable and feel secure, attempt to speak with your friend about how their actions are impacting you. Be calm and discuss the problem from your feelings' perspective and not from blaming. Utilize "I" statements such as:

- "I get hurt when you disregard my views."

- "I require more encouragement and support within our friendship."

Be prepared for their response—it might be defensive or condescending—but stand firm in sharing what you require. If they are receptive to change, great! If they are not, that is an acceptable response as well, but it tells you that you need to move on. Don’t ever be afraid to stick up for yourself and your feelings.

Establish Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries must be present in every healthy relationship. Let your friend know what you will and won't tolerate from them from now on. For instance:

- "I would like you to respect my decisions, even when you don’t agree with them."

Once you've set your boundaries, hold them firm. It is less about hurting the other person and more about protecting your feelings.

Step Back If You Need To

Sometimes, no matter what you do, things might not improve between you and the friend. If things remain unhealthy, it's okay to maintain some space. This doesn't involve ignoring them or making a scene. Instead:

• Spend less time with them gradually.

• Share less personal information.

• Say no politely when they invite you or make plans less frequently.

• Distancing does not have to be drastic—it just means creating space for yourself to develop and focus on more positive relationships.

• Spend Time with Positive People

It's difficult to end a friendship that is toxic and be alone, but it also leaves you open to meeting someone greater and better for you. Spend time with people who support you, make you feel valued, and respect your boundaries. Being around good people will remind you what being a friend is all about.

Take Care of Yourself

• Ending or escaping a toxic friendship can be very draining, so you need to take care of yourself. Give yourself time to:

• Write down your feelings and thoughts so you can see them more clearly.

• Do things that make you feel relaxed and happy.

• Get help from family, friends, or a counselor if you need it.

• Taking care of yourself will help you move ahead with a clear mind and self-assurance.

• Toxic friendships are draining, but they don't have to control your life. If you're attuned to the signs, set boundaries, and prioritize your health, you can get through this in a smart and level-headed way. Not every one of your friendships is going to be a lifelong deal, and that's alright. The only relationship you will ever have is with yourself—so treat it well, and don’t compromise it for anyone else’s feelings.